Board Thread:Roleplay/@comment-24947676-20160317151444/@comment-24947676-20160319210023

"Huh. He didn't even bother to show up." Kyoko said.

"That just gives us more time to do the homage." Homura said.

"Oh!" Kyoko said. Suddenly, microphones appear in Homura and Kyoko's hands.

"Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Death Battle!" Homura said.

"Our combatants today are Sans, the pun-loving and ketchup-loving skeleton," Kyoko said.

"And Kimiko, the over-protective little sister of Akemi!" Homura said.

"WHAT WHY ARE YOU MAKING KIMIKO FIGHT THAT SKELETON WHY JUST WHY" Akemi rambled.

"She's Homura and I'm Kyoko!" Kyoko said.

"And it's our job to analyze the combatants weapons, armor, and skills to see who'd win a death battle!" Homura said.

"DEATH BATTLE NO" Akemi said.

"DEATH BATTLE YES" Kyoko said.

"What the hell..." Sayaka mumbled.

"IS NOW REALLY THE TIME TO DO A HOMAGE?!" Akemi questioned.

"FUCK YEAH IT IS!" Kyoko said.

- ~SANS ANALYSIS~

"Sans's backstory is super mysterious because bullshit reasons! All we know is that his dad was the royal scientist before Alphys, said dad got shattered throughout time and space and SOMEHOW got brought back to life, and that Sans is really overprotective of his younger yet incredibly tall brother, Papyrus!" Kyoko said.

"Regardless of the lack of info, it's clear that Sans has a good arsenal of weaponry. For example, being able to control gravity, making bones come out of the ground, and of course, the Gaster Blasters, also known as laser beams of doom." Homura explained.

"However, he's pretty goddamn weak, only having 1 ATK, 1 DEF, and 1 HP!" Kyoko said.

"However, he makes up for this with the ability to use Karmic Retribution, also known as KR, which as the name suggests, severely harms the person he's fighting based on the weight of their sins, or karma. His other attacks definitely pack a powerful punch thanks to this. He's also very agile, considering that he can dodge every single attack." Homura added.

"However, he has a soft spot for puns and ketchup, and will probably spare anybody who offers him a good pun. Oh, and he'll probably fall asleep mid-battle. But really though, he's too fucking mysterious to properly analyze." Kyoko said.

"Good point, let's move on to the other combatant." Homura said.

- ~KIMIKO ANALYSIS~

"Thankfully, in this universe, Kimiko's backstory is much easier to tackle. She's the younger sister of Akemi. Their dad was a baker and their mom was a scientist. Specifically, a mad scientist! One day one of their mom's experiments burnt the house down, and the firefighters only managed to rescue Akemi and Kimiko because Akemi made a contract with Kyubey and became a magical girl." Homura said.

"And so, Akemi has been taking care of Kimiko ever since! But one day, they got stuck in a time loop in which Kimiko keeps making a contract and becoming a goddamn witch over and over again! What an idiot!" Kyoko said.

"However, in this timeline/the final timeline, the personification of Akemi's witch form managed to contact Kimiko and explain the timelines to Kimiko in case Akemi fails to save Kimiko like she usually does." Homura said.

"But wait, how and why the fuck did the personification only decide to contact Kimiko now?!" Kyoko questioned.

"The personification felt sorry for Kimiko because Kimiko saw Sans try to kill Akemi and everyone forgot about it because a Miku clone appeared to distract everyone." Homura explained.

"Well, that's a bullshit reason!" Kyoko said.

"Indeed, but regardless, Kimiko's arsenal contains... Temmie armor and a baseball bat. This can only go so well." Homura said.

"Oh! Wasn't there something else too?!" Kyoko questioned.

"Oh, right! Sans apparently has a crush on Akemi, not because Akemi introduced him to the greatest rhythm games in the universe, but because..." Homura said, showing an audio-visual clip of the personification asking why Sans has a crush on Akemi, and Sans's response.

Akemi facepalmed, wondering if it's a joke while feeling flattered and humiliated simultaneously. The personification laughed like crazy, as did Kyoko.

"Good God, that's fucking hilarious!" Kyoko said.

"Anyway, the personification acts as Kimiko's guide. The personification, thanks to experiences from other timelines, will probably be able to predict at least half of Sans's attacks, allowing Kimiko to dodge quickly." Homura said.

"However, when Kimiko can't access the power of hindsight (usually due to the personification's attempts to help causing holes to be ripped in the space-time continuum, forcing the personification to multitask), she does a shit job in battle!" Kyoko said.

"However, despite this, her greatest strength is that she's not a magical girl in this timeline, meaning she doesn't have to worry about becoming a witch due to magic shortage mid-battle." Homura said.

"Welp, now that we've thoroughly analyzed the combatants, IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLEEEEE!" Kyoko said.

-

Kimiko summoned her baseball bat, ready to fight. The personification is making calculations.

Akemi tries to get Kimiko out of there, but magical glass walls prevent this.