User blog:PISTACHIOLORD/Fuck this

So hey. I've been feeling down lately. Like not suicidal or anything just sad and angry and a fucking blender of emotions. Please don't feel bad if I get angry or insult you or some shit. I enjoy the wiki and all but I've been feeling that I should back away from it because it's caused some harm to my regular life. It's triggered some pretty shitty things recently. Maybe it's because of things that are happening in real life but I'm feeling like I can't do anything helpful. And lately or today while talking to some people who fucking would listen to me when I had something important to tell them, I flipped out. Someone left. The others are now doing their own shit. One of them is being all realizing shit. I'm not really in the mood to do anything motivational and I've been procrastinating a ton lately. I'd like to say I'm sorry if I've caused you any harm or anger or if you just full out hate me because I know some of you guys do but I'm really stressed out right now. Honestly I'm left out in a ton of things that I should be a part of. Things I've fucking created. But nope. I don't want any goddamn people coming on discord or whatever to just call me out or say "lol Pistach shut ur mouth all u say is nullshit." I honestly know everything I say is bullshit so... off topic and all, whoops. I'm going on a hiatus and I want to rant out before I go. I'll be on discord and all but I just won't be as active as I was once. People have fucking ripped the fun out of me right now. People I thought were so called friends. I'm not saying names though. I'd like to notify you I am childish and I don't want anyone to twist my words. I know some people are gonna end up thinking I'm doing this for attention or some shit but I'm not. Surprisingly, I'm serious. It's a miracle I know. Now we have people thinking their useless for attention. People I thought wouldn't do stupid things over me saying my goddamn opinion. I'm tired as I said earlier. I haven't slept in 2 days though that's my fault. My timezone fucks me up as well. I'm sorry. I can't be childish anymore and play things off like I used to. I used to spam lyrics and everyone would fucking laugh or do it along with me. But now people I knew only fuck me off and say to stop while they have some kind of right to do it. I mean this is only towards certain people but I'm ranting here and I just can't seem to stop. Another shitty thing is over on the amino my chat is filled with hate messages over me asking people to credit. I even have 2 call out posts just for me! Lovely! I can't spam Hamilton lyrics anymore to these guys. It's way to much. Hey, I'm a person and I have feelings too people. I was thinking about leaving the wiki entirely but the wiki is pretty fun to watch. I honestly like and LIKED some people here but my view has changed lately. I'm immature but I'm failing at trying to be mature. My health is fucking fading and my eye sight drops every second. I feel I should be working harder and as I said I won't be joking around as much as I used to. Just trying my best to be the shitty/best Discussion mod I can be. Sorry if I'm ranting too much for your ears or some shit. Thank you for reading.